December 11, 2023
Tania Burgess

There’s nothing more special than feeling that your friend, relative or partner truly knows you. With this Enneagram gift-giving guide, you can now be that special someone who gets it right.

This blog is based on the 9 different Enneagram personality Types, so you’ll need to know where your friends and family fit within the framework. If you’re not sure, visit the Discover Your Enneagram blog here.  To take the full test, set up an appointment here.

One of the greatest gifts of the Enneagram is insight into the needs, fears, motivations of our partners, friends & relatives. By knowing them at a deeper level of understanding, we can avoid superficial, generic gifts and give something that really aligns with how they experience the world.  Mindful gift giving is about compassionately recognising their struggles and helping them move closer toward their best, healthiest version, with gifts that stretch them in the direction of their fullest potential.  The gift guide below includes gifts for core type and my top suggestions for development.

So what is the best gift for each enneagram type?

Your Enneagram Type 1 - Perfectionist

Your Perfectionist friend/partner/relative might be looking to perfect themselves, their home or garden. Books, courses or resources that help them develop their expertise will be appreciated. You could satisfy their love of order by organising a cleaner, tidier or organiser - think Marie Kondo. Because Ones may have strong ideas about the best version of everything, gift cards allow them to choose the best.

Top 3 to stretch into their best …

  • Inspire their creativity by signing them up for a cooking or art class.
  • Encourage their fun & playful side by making a game of their gift. 
  • Gratitude journal to support appreciation of what is already good and perfect.

Your Enneagram Type 2 - Helper

Your Helper friend/partner/relative may be more focused on the needs of those around them and want gifts that actually benefit other people, i.e. charity-related gifts such as sponsoring a child or supporting a disadvantaged community or donating to charities that support those impacted by war.

Top 3 to stretch into their best …

  • Organise quality time with their favourite people at a joint outing, activity, or adventure.
  • Pamper them with a massage or facial to encourage time for themselves.
  • Stimulate their creative side with an artistic activity, class or materials

Your Enneagram Type 3 - Competitive Achiever

Your Competitive Achiever friend/partner/relative likely has a list of the latest name brand items they would love to receive; including the best tech that supports their productivity. If those gifts are out of stock, they would happily settle for backstage passes to the most popular concert in town.

Top 2 to stretch into their best...

  • Help them slowdown in nature, by organising a mindfulness walk, hike or kayaking.
  • Encourage them to “be” rather than “do” with a massage or meditation retreat.

Your Enneagram Type 4 - Creative Romantic

Your Creative Romantic friend/partner/relative has probably been looking for the perfect, one-of-a-kind, handmade item. Their love of romance means they could be wishing for things like poetry, rare bottles of wine or a bracelet woven and blessed by Tibetan monks.

Top 3 to stretch into their best …

  • Help them know how much they are loved and valued with letters, notes and cards from friends and family to celebrate what makes them unique and special.
  • A course or retreat, like Find Your Zen that helps them learn how to regulate their emotions and find resilience alongside their sensitivity.
  • Tickets to the ballet, preferably a tragic romance with stunning costumes and a plot full of meaningful themes and messages of hope, empowerment and equanimity.

Your Enneagram Type 5 - Quiet Specialist

Your Quiet Specialist friend/partner/relative is likely to want more knowledge without cluttering their space; think of gifts such as a Kindle or subscription to Audible that allow them to access new ideas that deepen their understanding without taking up space.

Top 3 to stretch into their best …

  • Practical experiences relating to their interests, where they get to experience ideas at work in the real world – interactive science, history museum displays.
  • Encourage physical activity with a gym membership, personal trainer, or yoga class.
  • Help them get in touch with the outdoors through a few houseplants, a gardening project or a mindfulness walk.

Your Enneagram Type 6 - Loyal Sceptic

Your Loyal Sceptic friend/partner/relative may hope for gifts that help them prepare for the unexpected; this could include a spare phone battery, jumper leads, or first aid kit. For 6s who are the counter-phobic type, they might appreciate a ticket to a risky adventure, like skydiving, rock climbing or bungee jumping.

Top 3 to stretch into their best …

  • Help them build trust in themselves with a shared adventure that includes small risks that they can overcome with the security of knowing you are there to support them.
  • Encourage them to explore their courageous side with a bicycle, kayak or skateboard.
  • A one-to-one coaching session in which they can explore their fears and anxieties and learn techniques to become more present, grounded and regulated.


Your Enneagram Type 7- Enthusiastic Visionary

Your Enthusiastic Visionary friend/partner/relative likely wants a myriad of things that generate fun and are delightfully distracting. This could mean Mystery flight plane tickets, tasty and trendy treats, a wine tasting class or tickets to a captivating event or experience in the future.

Top 3 to stretch into their best …

  • A term of pottery classes that helps them sit with something from start to finish. 

  • A mindfulness retreat that helps them become present.
  • Fruit or flowering tree seedlings and an accompanying planting party that helps them experience the value of tending to something and bringing it to fruition.

Your Enneagram Type 8 - Active Controller

Your Active Controller friend/partner/relative may spend much of their time in high gear and is likely to enjoy gifts that match the same intensity; this includes boxing, martial arts classes, CrossFit, white water rafting, tickets to a rock concert or an Escape Room challenge.

Top 3 to stretch into their best …

  • A massage to help them drop a gear and release stress & tension.
  • A picture of you together in a frame to appeal to their soft sentimental side.
  • An activity or project that benefits from their strong leadership and supports those in need – a homeless shelter or fundraising adventure.

Your Enneagram Type 9

Your Enneagram Type 9 friend/partner/relative might enjoy gifts to make their life more comfortable and pleasant, such as good food & wine.  If they are a collector of things that represent their idiosyncratic passions, you might like to add to that with a new, personally selected item, ie. Elephant collection.

Top 4 to stretch into their best …

  • Gifts that enhance comfort and calm of their home environment, candles, foot stools, cushions, etc.
  • Gifts that pamper them like facials, spa days and any self-care products.
  • Gifts that bring them in touch with their body, like massage, reflexology, kinesiology and somatic therapies.
  • A journal to attune to their feelings and explore healthy ways to express them, rather than repressing them.

When giving gifts to those you know well and love, you have an opportunity to reflect what you see in them that’s special, unique, and possibly overlooked by the majority. Avoid being self-righteousness about what someone needs!  Aim to give gifts that reflect, celebrate and support, rather than fix or highlight their shortcomings. 

Gift giving should bring joy to both the giver and the recipient, and the Enneagram offers just one source of inspiration.

If you would like to give yourself or a loved one the gift of insight, self-understanding and self-mastery, consider the enneagram the perfect gift. Discover more here.